tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18196359172110204562024-03-12T19:16:19.763-07:00thefourpointplayA Basketball Guide for GentlemenUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-58250667202210674622013-04-17T09:29:00.000-07:002013-04-17T09:29:22.286-07:00The Loser's Metamorphosis<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
<i>To the tune of Kafka's masterpiece, a Laker devotee undergoes a critical change.</i>
<br /><br />
As Shaun awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a loser fanatic. He was lying on his hard, mangled cot, unfurling his frame from underneath the slanted roof of his attic apartment in Santa Monica. His numerous Laker posters, ordered just after the Three-Peat, and which made up all of this 8 by 12 foot room’s decor, had only strange faces, in now unfamiliar colors.
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Who are these players? he asked. It was no dream. His room, a regular bachelor flat, only it was double the rent, and half the size because it was Venice adjacent, lay quiet between the four familiar walls. Above the folding bed on which a hot plate was rested — Shaun was a consummate gourmand — hung the Jordan/Bryant head-to-head picture, which he had recently printed from a website and added to his basketball bookmarks. It showed Kobe Bean and MJ, with a measuring tape and the Larry O’Brien trophy between them, sitting upright and holding out their fists, huge ring-adorned knuckles, into which their whole team logos had vanished! Although when Shaun's eyes turned to Grantland and Deadspin — all he heard were bloggers clamoring over LA’s locker room melodrama on their podcasts, calling Dwight foul names — and it was depressing. How ‘bout watching Netflix for a while and forgetting all this nonsense, he thought, but it couldn’t happen, for he craved mocking Warrior fans, and Clipper fans, and perhaps, most desperate of all, Kings fans. But with Showtime <i>losing every game</i>, he could not troll their forums with snarky Zen Master quotes, and worse, <i>they</i> were mocking <i>him</i>.
<br /><br />
Oh God, he thought, what an incorrigible team I love! Steve Nash stars in <i>“The 40-Year-Old Point Guard”, this summer in 2-D color</i>. Get Paul Rudd to play his lovable, elbowing sidekick Metta World Peace. In a humorously misguided comedy of errors. A gun-slingin’ duo traveling about, home game to road game, on a used bicycle gear and too little cartilage. Dear God. For the first time, he was hosting live chats for a losing team, and on top of that there was the constant stream of thrilled haters, the Chris Paul Jerseys from Pico to Ventura, the ESPN coverage, the casual Laker fans that were always “so hip” and sitting courtside. Conference Finals be damned! We are looking at an 8-seed, dude, honestly. He felt a slight urge to text White Sean, the Celtic fan who lived down the street; he could always lean on him for support; to identify that gut-wrenching feeling which was something he imagined must be common to Blazer fans, or New Yorkers: gross discontent. Two coaches in one season, neither of them good, and he could no longer understand why management was tampering with a tried-true formula, and so stopped supporting the mysterious rationale, instead surrendering to haters’ points immediately, because pretending he understood what was happening made a cold shiver run through him.
<br /><br />
He clicked again into his Facebook page. This newsfeed, oh my god, can’t even deal. Every other article, Bryant frustrated, Nash injured, Howard tall. A man needs his Kobe-Bryant-Best-Ever-blog-post on occasion -- at least weekly. ‘Um, would <i>you</i> pass if you were that good??’ he fumed. For instance, when he checked his inbox after losses, everyone’s all ‘Y IS MIKE D’AnPHONY RUINING LAKERLAND’ and he's all: ‘Dude, how the EFF should I know? I don’t run a franchise, and by the looks of your ALL CAPS approach, neither should you’. But he did add, as an aside, that he'd be an excellent General Manager. Anyway, that might be a fun few weeks, yea/no? If he didn't have to cease contact with Laker staff because of the Buss surveillance “incident”, he'd have figured out and sent some solutions long ago; he'd have gone to Mitch Kupchak and told him exactly what he thought of him. The shock would knock his snifter off his desk! It's a bizarre way to build a championship team, too, this trading for old stars and circus-act centers, especially when they don’t do the whole winning part. Well, there's still hope, he thought; once we've gotten all these players off the books, and saved enough luxury tax money to start drafting young again-we'll be back on top. Just need to find that magical, once-a-generation 13th pick.
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</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-31900529310051762512012-12-21T08:22:00.003-08:002015-10-16T08:07:08.535-07:00J.R. Smith, Reigning King of The Four Point Play<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Jamal Crawford, of the Los Angeles Clippers, and formerly of the Atlanta Hawks, and formerly of the Golden State Warriors, and formerly of the New York Knicks, and formerly of the Chicago Bulls, is a top-level player. But he's never sniffed an All-NBA selection or won a 3-point title or even logged any minutes as an All-Star. He's never won a scoring title, an award his skills might suit. He has largely earned the reputation of a ballhog, or as they say in Brooklyn slang, a "nut." That's because he's always trying to get his. <br /><br />
Like a mutant who strayed from the gentle paws of Professor X into the denuding gaze of Magneto, during his years as a New York Knickerbocker, alongside the now-reformed (then-husky) Z-Bo, Crawford adopted bad habits by association. His 2012 revelation, that he had only practiced shooting, ostensibly, his main positive contribution to the game, the first time that summer, was more trite than nervy. Of <i>course</i> Jamal Crawford doesn't practice shooting. Why would he? His handle is bananas. You had me at "Crossover" Jamal. His natural form is definitely good enough for 25 points in a given game. Some people are, much to the dismay of the layman, ridiculously talented in proportion to their level of success. Classic underachievers. <br /><br />
<i>An underachiever reaches classic status when his demonstrable talent languishes so much that it works against his stated goals. When Dwight Howard injured his back compensating for a dearth of post moves with leap after bone-crunching leap, that was a Classic Underachiever's problem. Working at his up-under, hook shot or free throw shooting (pick one), might have saved Howard hundreds of games, but now...he'll never know. </i><br /><br />
Crawford makes hay of defenders, but has played as much defense in his life as George W. Bush has solved word problems. Watching Dwight Howard trot his sunken shoulders to the free throw line, Clyde Drexler described, is like watching Dwight Howard take a chemistry test. Praying for mediocrity. Fretting nullity. A bad scene. At the community theater. Either of these players could have made more of an impact with some conscious development of their given advantages. But they didn't. Somehow, I relate. <br /><br />
Crawford's Clippers are in the top 3 teams in scoring. This basketball journal is called The Four-Point Play. Jamal has 34 of them, most among active players. For <strikethrough>better or</strikethrough> worse, underachievers are good for unpredictable specks of flair across an otherwise uneven record. Perhaps the most confounding of the underachievers, and this year's TFPP Favorite Player, is Earl Junior. The folks round here call him J.R.
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I believe if I were an NBA player, I would be J.R. Smith. That is to say, I have — not to mistake anything here — none of the talent he has at basketball. My step-back jumper is reliable out to 15 feet. I have done a 360-something on the court before, but it was not a dunk, and I hurt my knee awful. And I was playing against my homegirl (who beat me). But in life, I am the J.R. Smith of this writing game. I started out an All-America right out of high school, published my first articles at 20, ghost-wrote my first book around the same time and got a royalty check of six-pence for it. Then there were some lost years, like really smoky, hazy, blurry years of doing very little writing except once a year, when I'd pretend to write a script with a friend of mine. Then in 2008, something clicked. I knew I needed to write about basketball and about music and about culture. But I had lost so many years underachieving, I needed to rebuild the faith of an audience. I had to practice my step-back against tougher competition. I had to listen to my coaches. Play defense. I had to put writing over friendship, in some cases (still hard to do but I try). Before Earl Jr. got to the Knicks, I made <a href="http://www.thefourpointplay.com/2011/01/celebrity-rehab-with-dr-drew-and-nba.html">jokes</a> about him, while secretly longing for him to arrive here and don the blue and orange. If any city could clean him up, bring him closer to home, offer tough love and ridiculous praise for even his small successes, it would be New York. We have a way of throwing out the trash and keeping the recyclables.
<br /><br />
J.R. Smith is having his best season in the NBA as a New York Knick, in this improbably serendipitous season. He's passionate, honest about his underachievement to this point, and playing his role, while adding some of those dramatic moments that make games eminently more watchable and truthful. So, J.R. if you're out there, writing a status message, or uploading a picture of your latest hotel visitor, I appreciate you. Even underachievers can be classics.
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Steve Novak will ESKIMO KISS you for hitting that game winner, bro.</td></tr>
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</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-78285860018549352132012-11-12T11:07:00.002-08:002015-10-16T08:09:10.395-07:00Mike D'Antoni To Coach Lakers aka Kobe Bryant Resumes Coaching Lakers<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
Admittedly, I was wrong on this one. The moment I got the text about Mike Brown's firing from the Los Angeles Lakers, I smiled in relief. For Brown's sake. <br /><br />
The quiet tragedy of Brown's hire was Kobe Bryant's tacitly (but tactfully) leaked complaint to ESPN the morning after. Specifically, no one called Mamba about it. From that unnamed-source-revelation (*cough* Stephen A.) to the eventual termination of Mike Brown, was merely a countdown to the Walk of Shame.<br /><br />
Chronicling the Lakers since last ring, has been like watching Iran and North Korea post-2000: you know something crazy's about to happen, but you're not sure when or if nuclear destruction is involved. Not to mention the criminally insane dictator running the show.<br /><br />
So while my reply text to the L.A. devotee said just two words, "Phil time", I was dangerously overlooking the one person whose decision everything hinges on, the man so notorious he nicknamed himself.<br /><br />
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At almost every stage of this young season, Mr. Bryant has declared, to anyone willing to listen, that <i>he</i> is the man on this team. He's definitely not a woman, first of all. He's definitely a singular, and not a plural. He=Man. Team=He=Man.<br /><br />
<blockquote>Dwight Howard brings the elite defense and post play that could vault us to the championship level? That's all fine and good, but it's MY TEAM.<br /><br />
Steve Nash, former rival, agrees to join forces with me and sort out that whole career-long passing-the-ball problem I had? Still my team though.<br /><br />
Mike Brown stinks. He's gotta go. Get Jeanie's boyfriend on the phone NOW!<br /><br />
But Kobe, his hips...they've permanently evaporated...<br /><br />
Has the meaning of <b>NOW</b> changed since this morning?<br /><br />
We hired Mike D'Antoni instead for less money.<br /><br />
He cool. I guess. Make sure you let him know the first twelve rows on the jet are reserved and that I expect his quarterly report on my desk first thing Monday.
</blockquote>
One of the best effects of Michael Jordan's influence on Kobe is his unmitigated willingness to be an assh*le at the expense of his team. It makes for the most entertaining basketball season and washes away remaining Jordan idolatry by allowing the fans to see him and Kobe for what they really are.<br /><br />
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Jerks.
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-50812597310091803842012-11-12T09:46:00.000-08:002012-11-25T13:42:10.077-08:00You Know White People: Get Money, Don't Spend It<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
<i>I know Spike LEEE gon' kill me, but lemme finish</i><br /><br />
Thus begins the era of Jeremy Lin and James Harden in Houston, two players who, for reasons of greed and mismanagement, were cast off after doing <i>better</i> than expected for their previous teams. In honor of lame, myopic white guys with too much money, The Four Point Play is naming this duo some variant of the great Black/Asian combos in history. Because as Wiz Khalifa once remarked, #BlackandYellow#BlackandYellow#BlackandYellow#BlackandYellow#BlackandYellow:<br /><br />
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<h4>James Harden and Jeremy Lin Present</h4>
<ul>
<li>Chicken Wings & Fried Rice</li>
<li>Kareem Abdul-Jabbar & kung fu</li>
<li>Rae Dawn Chong</li>
<li>Rush Hour</li>
<li>Tiger Woods y'all</li>
<li>The RZA</li>
<li>Hurry Up & Buy</li>
</ul>
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-51147454235889807462012-10-31T18:21:00.001-07:002012-11-12T11:34:55.558-08:00David Stern's Farewell Bucket List<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
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<i>From the desk of David Stern</i>:<br /><br />
A lotta speculation on the moneys I've made/ <br /> Honeys I've slayed/ <br /> How is he fareal?/ <br />
Is that n*gga really paid? <br /><br />
They ask me if I'm the greatest pro sports commissioner of all time? And I ask them, is an elephant d*ck ashy? Is Oprah's fridge door open? <br /><br />
Getting to the point here, gentleman, I tend to think the question answers itself. What I learned in my years leading the NBA's rise to pre-eminent league in our country, and then around the globe, is that I'm undoubtedly one of the smartest men a person could meet. <br /><br />
Yes, it's true I inherited a league that would soon be flush with star athletes like the world hadn't known, but I don't see Jerry Rice owning an NFL franchise. Or A-Rod selling sneakers to the Chinese. I gave Michael, Magic and Larry the keys to secret passageways that two of them still haven't used. The other one cured himself of humanity's most sinister plague.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a>
That might've scared them admittedly. <br /><br />
Honestly now that I've had my finger on the button, not too much excites me. I was thinking of acquiring a personal shuttle for Mars exploration, until I found out that Michael Bloomberg had built a shul over there. <br /><br />
Class act that he is. <br /><br />
So what does the Greatest Commissioner On Earth do for his retirement act? I've thought of joining the local Chess Social for their Saturday ice cream luncheon. Ambassador of International Athletics? Perhaps. Supreme Court Justice in 2015? One Scalia stroke away, is what I always say. <br /><br />
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That even <i>sounds</i> good: "Justice. Stern." <br /><br />
My wife hired Dwight Howard and John Wall to "teach me how to Dougie". Whatever that means. I'm planning a visit to every continent because, mainly, I want to know if there is some lucky war-torn country looking for a certain white-haired despot to run the show. I specialize in Draconian law, the rich getting richer and stiff penalties for thugs. Call me, Libya. <br /><br />
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And as my successor Adam Silver struggles to steady himself in the massive gloom that is my shadow, I believe the NBA will live on as one of the purest entertainment forms in the history of sport. We engineered the perfect slaves: lithe, agile genetic outliers. Sprinting down the court, smiles beaming, in gold chains! <br /><br />
Let no man deny that our industry shaped the great human experiment. The record shows a commitment to the excellence of superiority. An allegiance to the greatness of awesome. Or, in the immortal words of DJ Khaled, we da best.<br /><br />
Mang.<br /><br />
Signed,<br />
Commish<br />
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-18640631217023678012012-10-22T12:39:00.000-07:002012-10-22T12:39:13.391-07:00NBA Preseason Predictions for the LOL In You<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
As a member of the basketball cognoscenti, and proud self-important fan, I use large chunks of my day to read articles about every storyline in the NBA. Most of it is fluff. So-and-so's baby moms is on <b><i>Basketball Wives</i></b> next season. What's-his-name put a booger in the Gatorade after practice. Star Player has a new skill to preview that's GOINGTOCHANGEHIZGAMESOMUCH OMG. <br /><br />
Sure, fine, the League changes in countless ways when no one's even playing. That's not even counting the trades, acquisitions, retirements. (Or in the Knicks case, the acquisition of retired players who are then traded.) In truth, the 2013 storylines were largely written when Miami won the championship, and everyone else ran to a silent corner to bereave the possibility of Other Champions once that group reached the top. But recently, the appearance of a story, the journalist's make-believe predictions of stories, and the plain absurdity of <i>desired</i> stories has replaced analysis entirely. The hoops world has split between the crude numbers people and the narrative-driven erstwhile fabulists. I count myself among the latter, though I have a closet existence as a stat junkie that only shows itself to women I date around November 1st. Hard to understand how a foggy-minded leaver of dishes can recite the 2002 NBA All-Defense 2nd Team without pause. Love you, babygirl. But don't you ever get caught sleeping on Eric Snow. <br /><br />
This year's browsing has produced some trite narratives worthy of repeating, if only to finally, and completely kill them dead. The authors of these stories will remain unnamed, but their premises shall be roundly ridiculed. And henceforth dismissed!<br /><br /><a name='more'></a>
<h5>That's Just Silly: Predictions To Make You LOL</h5>
<ol>
<li><b>Andrew Bynum Will Be Healthy</b><br /><br />
Andrew Bynum may be the luckiest man to be born a giant in NBA history since Gheorghe Muresan (of <i>My Giant</i> fame). His career accomplishments include averaging 20 points and 10 rebounds for a week and then resting well until trophy time. He also makes funny comments to reporters whenever team chemistry is under scrutiny. Bravo, Andrew! If the first generation of black athletes were Million Dollar Slaves (© William Rhoden), this young man has been collecting reparations for eight plus years. </li><br />
<li><b>Carmelo Anthony Will Play "Off The Ball"</b><br /><br />
Meeeeeelooooooooo. Melo is so in love with the ball...<br />
How in love with the ball is he? <br />
Man, he so in love with the ball, he put a ring on it. <br />
Nah, no he didn't. Melo and the ball like Amos and Andy: inseparable. Like chocolate and peanut butter: better together. Like Kobe and Smush Parker: illogically linked 4EVER!!!! <br />
The day Carmelo Anthony gives up the ball is the day Mitt Romney releases his tax returns from the eighties. Namely, never.</li><br />
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<li><b>That Devastating, Career-Compromising Knee Injury...</b><br /><br />
Hey, Brandon Roy. Ain't happening. Oh, also, Amar'e Stoudemire, if you have one knee this year, it'll be more than you've had for the last three seasons. My homey, D-Wade. What uuuuup? You been icing that thing with Gabby on the beaches of South? You and me both man. And I think we'll play about the same number of minutes in the Finals...if I'm keeping it absolutely 100 with you.
</li><br />
<li><b>Veteran Team? Championship Favorites!</b><br /><br />
To quote my man Jaba, the Knicks assembled this roster using a DeLorean and an encrypted spell from the Dead Sea Scrolls. The Knick bench used to play pick-up games against the Mayans. Jason Kidd, Kurt Thomas, Marcus Camby and Pablo Prigioni have a combined light year of experience. Those dudes took their first free throws with Moses on the box score and Jesus boxing out. They put on reading glasses during game review, and fall asleep while driving. In other words, this is a league of twenty-year-olds, not twenty-year vets. That won't change just because Kurt Thomas can still fit his chicken-wing triceps into a jersey.</li><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqMoK4XYlvlORn9O2_EoLmiKPPc-7zdmzWKlHHaEiz6r_T1yL1788aXzWQvf15iN76KuEy0ivpTJp8pyYqKkkxaHiS-oBzai0LkLkc5RHq5-7AQ2Ap1lRramwuUoYGSmkaQVnlAHs-P2c/s1600/phil-jackson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="266" width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqMoK4XYlvlORn9O2_EoLmiKPPc-7zdmzWKlHHaEiz6r_T1yL1788aXzWQvf15iN76KuEy0ivpTJp8pyYqKkkxaHiS-oBzai0LkLkc5RHq5-7AQ2Ap1lRramwuUoYGSmkaQVnlAHs-P2c/s320/phil-jackson.jpg" /></a></div>
<li><b>Phil Jackson Will Flirt With Your Team</b><br /><br />
So I heard, if you put together a squad with Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Wilt Chamberlain and Oscar Robertson (and then raised another $20MM in capital) Phil Jackson maybemightalmostcould think about coaching it. That's just what I heard, though. #UnnamedSources.</li><br />
<li><b>Kobe Bryant Will Play Nice</b><br /><br />
So I heard, if you put together a team with the best Center in the L, and then outfitted it with a humble, experienced, pass-first Point Guard...<br />
Kobe <i>still</i> won't pass nobody the ball. <br />
Sure, Kobe's main drive, at this stage, is to use Lance Armstrong's blood boosters to get that elusive 6th (and eventually 7th) title. But that conveniently excludes the fact that Kobe would have had seven by now if he could've played with Shaq for the final years of his prime, valued Lamar Odom/Pau Gasol enough as a human to pass to him, and wasn't hell-bent on also winning the all-time scoring record and his place as the Greatest Of All Time. This is the same guy who, last summer, told some biddy camper at a hoops summer session, that he was already better than Jordan without the 6th title. <br />
To give you an idea of how delusional he is...</li><br />
</ol>
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-6256682798525440482012-09-25T09:49:00.001-07:002013-04-17T08:49:37.858-07:00Other Prokorhov Short-Term Goals<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
From the annals of Russia's Most Interesting Man comes a fortuitous <a href="http://espn.go.com/new-york/nba/story/_/id/8406682/barclays-center-opening-new-jersey-nets-owner-mikhail-prokhorov-promises-title-soon">prediction</a>. Mikhail Prokhorov, about as coy as the homecoming queen on prom night, is offering reporters a glimpse into his crystal ball. The Nets: from worst team in the league seven minutes ago to championship contender in 9 months.<br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheq_t0DPdjwnvrjVpnHsWVLZUL2RzZ47vuMxBm9nJjKXM7zCFF0jiNmKcT3xVAz1VoKeReXyjv_oCUOviNP1eneaso9tx5ZikKMfUlN7p6Mkxbrm_sDSvHAR0NZ0qZMbqZ6VihNafYqJg/s1600/mikhail-ribbon-cutting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="212" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheq_t0DPdjwnvrjVpnHsWVLZUL2RzZ47vuMxBm9nJjKXM7zCFF0jiNmKcT3xVAz1VoKeReXyjv_oCUOviNP1eneaso9tx5ZikKMfUlN7p6Mkxbrm_sDSvHAR0NZ0qZMbqZ6VihNafYqJg/s320/mikhail-ribbon-cutting.jpg" /></a></div>
And because anything is possible, he's even sketched out a plan on his lipstick-smudged cocktail napkin:<br />
<blockquote>
"For me there is only one place: No. 1," Prokhorov said. "And I'll do my best in order to reach a championship."</blockquote>
Later he added, curtsying and batting his lashes:<br />
<blockquote>
"I think it's the best arena in the world. I'm expecting a great rivalry with the Knicks."</blockquote>
Well played, Mikhail. Everyone needs goals, of course. And with petty millions to spend on silly ventures like <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/25/mikhail-prokhorov-russia-presidential-candidate_n_1231829.html">becoming president of your homeland</a>, Prokhorov's tycoon wish-list serves as an example to all bootstrap-pulling children of wealth that <i>they, too, can do anything</i>. Among his other short-term missions:
<ul>
<li>Invent flux capacitor. Visit to dinosaurs. Pick a fight with one.</li>
<li>Defeat Kobe Bryant in one-to-one basketball contest. Practice on Dirk.</li>
<li>Bury corpse of Jaroslav. Send ring finger to widow.</li>
<li>Complete purchase of Montserrat. Sell to China for DOUBLE!</li>
<li>Race helicopters with "Little Man" James Dolan across Atlantic.</li>
<li>Go to "Little Man" and <a href="http://nymag.com/daily/sports/2012/07/fun-with-jd-the-straight-shots-wikipedia-page.html">his band</a> jazz show. Sit in front and laugh SO loud.</li>
</ul><br />
Many of the remaining napkin scrawls from that Vodka-soaked evening were illegible, but the words "Little Man" and "Dolan" populated even the far ridges of that crumpled scroll.<br /><br />
Perhaps, with some convincing, Mr. Prokhorov might be in for a run as Brooklyn's mayor. Or its newest franchise restaurant dealer. Skyline's the limit.
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-55273203603019512552012-09-24T00:09:00.000-07:002012-09-24T00:17:37.812-07:00Ask Jay-Z Pt. 2: Why Should We Root for the Nets? <span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">On the last episode of The Four Point Play, we toiled with the grim realities of the fading Knicks empire, and a growing fiefdom in our beloved hamlet, the Breuckelen Nets. Chief among our concerns? Owner disinterest superseding fan anxiety.<br /><br />
New York basketball fans are Sisyphus, forever tantalized by pricey teams who soften short of climax. But lately, we've had our intelligence assaulted by the eccentric, erratic strokes of a billionaire. Though the Nets are the best new show in town, they're none too immune from the whims of a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXyFYNiV-9I">Luchini</a> lord. <br /><br />
Their owner has a rumor trail that leads to him being at best a Russian Larry Flynt and at worst, Moscow's Bill Clinton. His résumé has a Body Count and an oil spill on it. And that's just the first page.<br /><br />
And not that I'm a fan of rap or anything... <b><i>BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY AM</i></b> but has Jay-Z (new <s>nose</s> face of the Nets) applied his effort to rhyming even <i>30% of the time</i> on his climb to Forbes list fame?<br /><br />
Is 30% a generous estimate at this point?<br /><br />
Frankly, we have right to suspect he'll bring that imperious air into Barclay's Center and thus create another vanity team. Image over wins.<br /><br />
With that in mind, we sent him an earnest <a href="http://www.thefourpointplay.com/2012/09/ask-jay-z.html">dispatch</a>, listing our qualms. <br /><br />
What follows is Mr. Carter's reply:<br /></span><br />
<blockquote>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Dear Breez,<br />
<br />
The Four Point Play? honestly, clever name. congrats on your ambition, kid. clearly you're gonna need it.<br /><br />
also, you're writing letters? I got Obama on the text, baby. holla at me. you don't know if I'm talkin' Barack or Michelle. it's bananas. <br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKBWNJcBRUzvnomlt_Hpr6gRqlpsCuDtAwJb1U1MDUixpvAsQy05Q7PXF0X0_0H3EHFTVOILFye7uwO08_oOGwD7PN1KY4papFHA2vCOFO4MoIsfVEl23o-OnGfuR8biaGx3cNOeOqK08/s1600/obama-on-text.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="398" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKBWNJcBRUzvnomlt_Hpr6gRqlpsCuDtAwJb1U1MDUixpvAsQy05Q7PXF0X0_0H3EHFTVOILFye7uwO08_oOGwD7PN1KY4papFHA2vCOFO4MoIsfVEl23o-OnGfuR8biaGx3cNOeOqK08/s400/obama-on-text.jpg" /></a></div>
what they gon DO with me? my one of a kind self. HOV!<br /><br />
but for real. when I said "the Nets could go 0 for 82" et al, I wasn't being <i>literal</i>. you know what I mean, it's not like I'm looking at YOU like it's gravy for YOU.<br /><br />
it's more like this boat I got floating everybody: THIS SHIT GRAVY. <br /><br />
I hear the people talkin', I assure you. but I don't rap for you. or the people. I rap to hear myself rapping to you, and for the satisfaction of laughing when you still don't get it. take a second to wrap your mind around that. <br /><br />
it's cool; I'll wait.<br /><br />
I'm so far ahead of my time. Marcy Projects...I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Trader Joe. you already know what it's about. organic produce in the project hallway. high-rise condos across from police towers.<br /><br />
mattafact I did my last <i>Rolling Stone</i> interview in a pissy elevator with two heroin addicts holding a iPhone. I had to hustle, my back to the wall, ashy knuckles. nawmean? (although -- I can't front -- Carol's Daughter has really changed my approach to <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2005/05/18/news/newsmakers/cosmetics/">skin care</a>. no more dark spots, ya'heard.) <br /><br />
to keep it 100, I can't show you the bigger picture if you ain't tryna see it lil homey. sure, if a No-Win-82-Loss season doesn't spell "success" to you, I'm already playing the underdog. but if you see the aspirational value in hundreds of low-wage arena jobs, absurd raises in property tax and unimaginable traffic, then, maybe, we can have a civil discussion on the subject. <br /><br />
otherwise, save up for some season tickets and stop crying to me about it. <br /><br />
sincerely,<br />
Hova The God aka Young Forbes List 4Ever </span></blockquote>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-28379658559964032292012-09-18T12:03:00.000-07:002012-09-18T12:07:23.682-07:00Ask Jay-Z<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
The Four Point Play announces its official and complete defection from the ranks of Knick fans. This journal, a running tract for the basketball-minded, must be purged of its filthy ties to the Dolan monarchy. In "common sense" terms, we value the common as much as the sense. For too long, in the oily undercarriage of Madison Square Garden, we dressed fatal wounds, and sutured heartbreak. No more pandering to the whims of an increasingly moneyed class of carpetbaggers, sports dilettantes, ball hobbyists, closet polo players. The Garden left "common" behind decades ago, while its lore grew the warts of excess: 12 dollar beers, overfed, bloated ballers, and lawsuits a-plenty.
<br /><br />James Dolan owns the dubious honor of building an entertainment vehicle that is as valuable in a wretched wrecked state as it is in near-victory.<br />
<br />Swept out of the playoffs at Boston? It's cool.<br /> What's his name scored 47.
<br />
Traded one of the league's most sensational guards for a fat also-ran?<br />
Don't worry, we're saving money for some unforeseen circumstance, like building that championship team you always wanted.<br />
Promise.<br />
<br />
But where to plant the flag now?<br />
<br />
Now I like to wear nice things just like you. But I'm from Brooklyn. And certain sh*t you just don't do. Like:<br />
</span><br />
<ul><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
<li>Leaving your lifelong allegiance to the orange and blue to rot on Seventh Avenue.</li>
<li>Calling yourself a Nets fan. Gross.</li>
<li>Blaming Patrick Ewing for <i>anything</i> ill-fated.</li>
</span></ul>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
We didn't make these Gods; we only worship them.
<br /><br />
However faithless his supporters, there is one self-appointed divinity who has emerged from the fiery pits of churning commerce. There is one rapper whose name has become synonymous with grandeur, opulence and style. There is one minority owner of an NBA team whose very utterance spikes property value and drops draws. He has reformed the franchise by association and locale. So I decided to contact him with a letter, a personal message from a spent fan and Brooklynite, asking him why I might jump wagons to ally with his sloganeers. Here is the e-mail exchange we had.
<br /><br />
Dear (Young) Hov,<br />
Long-time listener, first time caller.<br /><br />
Anyway, I love what you've done with the place. That rusty finish on the Barclay's Center? Like warm socks on a rainy night. You smoother than Deron Williams finger waves. But I don't know yet if that's a reason to root for your team. Granted, the Knicks with Amar'e and Carmelo are costume jewelry, the thin alloy necklace no self-respecting sports fan could ever mistake for a dookie chain.<br /><br />
A self-<i>hating</i> sports fan on the other hand...<br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8gR9-qz6z7vRchi5vu605ipTzZZhqCNc7LTm2dvuPJF7NLdAzQEx5sJvtlysG19r3WNTZLA862V9WsMqfI9olGb05Wzut6L48n3u6utE2APpCUExZA_fjST-INlQg-4pLoAJj5SSUwgE/s1600/d-will.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8gR9-qz6z7vRchi5vu605ipTzZZhqCNc7LTm2dvuPJF7NLdAzQEx5sJvtlysG19r3WNTZLA862V9WsMqfI9olGb05Wzut6L48n3u6utE2APpCUExZA_fjST-INlQg-4pLoAJj5SSUwgE/s400/d-will.jpg" /></a></div>
But I digress. My main issue with rooting for the Nets is your claim that "the Nets could go 0 for 82, and I'd look at you like this shit GRAVY."<br /><br />
Would you look at me like it's all butter-and-flour-turkey-fat if the Nets lost all their games? Word?<br /><br />
This, to me, suggests that you're not really considering the Brooklyn fans who spent years suffering at the hands of another uncaring tyrant who ran the only New York basketball team.<br /><br />
We can't trade one fatcat for another, ya know? Just sayin.<br /><br />
Also, what role will Kanye West play in the development of this new team? He's lately suggested that he might have some say in the contracts of Kris Humphries and anyone else his girlfriend may or may not have fake-married.<br /><br />
I understand Kanye is no lay-person, but in terms of basketball, I think his imprudence might really hurt the roster. Cause, like, what if they break up and she starts dating, like, Marshon Brooks or someone equally promising and young?<br /><br />
(Marshon, if you're reading this, stay far away from anyone with two phones claiming to be "Kim's friend".)<br /><br />
This fan life thing can be pretty exhausting and, aside from all the other political and social reasons the Nets in Brooklyn is an absolute mindfuck, we just need a few assurances. In other words, talk to us like we're Memphis Bleek or Blue Ivy or one of your many dependents. This is a faith declaration, which sometimes requires more than love.<br /><br />
I hope this missive finds you cradled in the comforts of an extinct animal's fur, sipping chamomile-infused lemon seltzer. Or some such.
<br /><br />
Kindly,<br /><br />
DrewBreez
<br /><br />
<b>Check back with the The Four Point Play later this week for Jigga's heartfelt reply</b>
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-3559916488400475922012-09-05T14:52:00.001-07:002015-10-16T10:22:48.905-07:00Dear Melo<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
Your three's gone cold I'm wondering why I..<br />
might watch the game at all<br />
The morning press shouts on my radio..<br />
that you can't see at all<br />
And even if you could it's just a J,<br />
but your picture on my wall<br />
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,<br />
it's not so bad..2x
<br /><br />
Melo, I wrote you but your jumper's broken<br />
Rumor has it, you don't pass it to the man who's open<br />
You're a magnet for the ball while flashing to the post<br />
But the shot is flat, you couldn't cast a<br />
Net into the ocean<br />
Funny -- caught a glimpse of LaLa on the street<br />
With Prada glasses, had that Donna Karan on her feet<br />
Asked her for an autograph, cuz boy that ass is sweet<br />
Apparently her rump turns you molasses on the D<br />
I think I spied your crew flossin' at the Fashion Week<br />
I even bought it when you tried to sell that trashy drink<br />
Most your contributions don't show on stat sheets<br />
But that's endorsement money and I know you had to eat<br />
They praised you when you made the Finals in the Western Conference<br />
Now the writers and the fans seem upset you're pompous<br />
We traded all our youth for the shooter you could be<br />
But your attitude is putrid, you're ruining my team
<br /><br />
Your three's gone cold I'm wondering why I..<br />
might watch the game at all<br />
The morning press shouts on my radio..<br />
that you can't see at all<br />
And even if you could it's just a J,<br />
but your picture on my wall<br />
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,<br />
it's not so bad
<br /><br />
</span>
<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tVdhHktuAmo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<br />
Carmelo, what's the deal, you never wrote<br />
I see threw your weight around<br />
To groom a better coach<br />
I wish you threw that weight around<br />
while driving to the paint<br />
I ain't mad,<br />
but it's odd that smile is on your face<br />
As you lay each brick,<br />
your teammates think 'This guy isn't that great';<br />
your rivals look in-shape<br />
and the Title is at stake!<br />
Our only wish is you become<br />
that player dropping 30<br />
I'm talking pounds, not easy points<br />
Get to your locker early<br />
It's the least that you could do<br />
our season's topsy-turvy<br />
Be careful of your wishes<br />
when you wear that 'Bocker jersey<br />
Anyway, I'm not afraid to tell you straight<br />
Redeem us in the playoffs or your move was a mistake
<br /><br />
Your three's gone cold I'm wondering why I..<br />
might watch the game at all<br />
The morning press shouts on my radio<br />
that you can't see at all<br />
And even if you could it's just a J,<br />
but your picture on my wall<br />
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,<br />
it's not so bad
<br /><br />
(in Melo's voice)<br />
yo Dude, I think you need a better hobby<br />
Maybe check your highlight reel<br />
for reasons why you watch me<br />
I'm popping 3s<br />
You trade your team<br />
because for me there is no copy<br />
Can someone tell me who is this<br />
Danilo Gallinari?<br />
There is no "I" in team<br />
but there is a "Me" in Melo.<br />
This the dream I succeeded<br />
at to free me out the ghetto.<br />
I'm already a hero<br />
so I ain't bent on proving sh*t.<br />
Mattafact, what kinda sucker<br />
be rooting for the Knicks?<br />
What's your dream and why the f*ck<br />
do you be writing letters?<br />
That type of thing<br />
will guarantee<br />
we never meet each other.<br />
You sound like --<br />
you on the outside looking in.<br />
You never shot a jumper<br />
or took one on the chin.<br />
Or sank a winning free-throw<br />
when the crowd was on your back.<br />
Or dribbled to the post pivot,<br />
pounded to the rack.<br />
I doubt you ever won a game<br />
in your entire life.<br />
But I can't make you consider that when you decide to write.<br />
</span> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-56994143338590857402012-03-05T17:40:00.001-08:002012-03-05T17:40:50.865-08:00Where One of the Best Emcees Was a Local Cat<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Godfather of Soul<br />
<br />
How they dared to call you a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tweener_(basketball)">tweener</a>,<br />
when you propelled every inch of lithe limbs<br />
to play point, on the box, as a screener,<br />
Queens-smooth in your Rolls to the rim.<br />
Loooooove, (brother) you don't get enough of it, <br />
seldom flash newly televised grins,<br />
your vanity mirrors the pupils of fans.<br />
For your tender cheek, you shall be punished,<br />
take you an heiress, and fly with her whims;<br />
lo, when the game swings, you'll find its dance.<br />
<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXJHM_KUl-DFkEwPVS9fDsycA80-fkjpS3leAS2FT_3nouMxwWFdvJDLQsEQSyEnVcsrnX5l24-zHxUU8q68pUcj9Y8AONLInjaZAhAmC21aIHTvBNFZz1Ygl8rm05ifM_pwIVKtnWGmk/s1600/odom-unbreakable-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXJHM_KUl-DFkEwPVS9fDsycA80-fkjpS3leAS2FT_3nouMxwWFdvJDLQsEQSyEnVcsrnX5l24-zHxUU8q68pUcj9Y8AONLInjaZAhAmC21aIHTvBNFZz1Ygl8rm05ifM_pwIVKtnWGmk/s320/odom-unbreakable-2.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-77772935687949655832012-02-26T13:09:00.002-08:002012-02-26T13:09:51.503-08:00Other Things Charles Oakley Mastered<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Charles Oakley waxed poetic about a <a href="http://deadspin.com/5715729/charles-oakley-thinks-barkleys-an-asshole" target="_blank">dear old friend</a>, Sir Charles Barkley, in a recent radio interview. He recalled grander times, when both men were in an NBA fugue of toughness, grappling for respect. Of Charles he said:<br />
<br />
</span><br />
<blockquote>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Barkley for his size was a good player but he's a coward, though. ... He wasn't a leader and wasn't a role model. Now he talks so bad about younger guys, I don't respect that from him. … He wants to be funny, that whole TNT thing and all that, they're like some clowns on that show.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><br />
And of Kendrick Perkins, Oakley had this to assert:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
If Kendrick Perkins would play basketball, Oklahoma City would win a championship the next three or four years. … You're a power forward, you don't let guys dunk on you. I played 18, 19 years I got dunked on three times ...</blockquote>
<br />
Charles Oakley, in 18 years of playing professional basketball as a starting power forward, got dunked on a mere three times. He was a man of many accomplishments, the most unique of which are too often overlooked.<br />
<br />
TFPP has compiled a list, at Mr. Oakley's request, of his other lesser known accolades, all nearly comparable. <br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://wtfismikewearing.tumblr.com/post/3041124972/et-tu-oak">Jordan Brand Style Consultant</a></li>
<li> <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/Charles-Oakley-sues-Las-Vegas-resort-over-beat-down-051411">Casino Floor and Table Inspector</a></li>
<li><a href="http://deadspin.com/5880166/charles-oakleys-friends-want-you-to-let-him-cook-in-your-house">Mobile Restaurateur</a></li>
<li><a href="http://cdn.mediatakeout.com/32029/enjoying-life-retired-nba-star-charles-oakley-is-photo-d-partying-it-up-with-group-of-blondes.html">Philanthropic Mentor</a></li>
<li><a href="http://network.yardbarker.com/nba/article_external/jay_z_michael_jordan_chris_paul_and_charles_oakley_just_chillin/3263795">Entourage Coordinator</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.theknicksblog.com/2010/12/23/oakley-close-to-joining-bobcats-staff/"><i>Strong</i> Candidate for Charlotte Bobcat Job Openings</a></li>
</ul>
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-62265744279437848122012-02-25T13:54:00.002-08:002015-10-16T10:34:02.648-07:00NBA Unveils Santa Fe New Mexicans Logo<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - NBA UNVEILS EXPANSION SQUAD TO BEAT HEAT<br />
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FEBRUARY 24, 2011 - NEW YORK CITY<br />
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ON THE HEELS OF the Miami Heat torching the league with an uncommonly brilliant start, Commissioner David Stern has announced the arrival of a team specifically constructed to beat them. Since no actual basketball players can outrun, outscore or outplay LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, the league office was forced to enlist the help of fictional characters in order to assure balance in the Association for the next decade. <br />
<br />
Michael Jordan's expertise was indispensable in drafting the perfect termination squad. Having spent hundreds and thousands of games playing against villains big and tall, Jordan selected the Monstars of <i>Space Jam</i> fame because of the potent match-up difficulties these 11-foot-8-inch behemoths would present to their NBA opponents. The Monstars will suit up for the expansion Santa Fe New Mexicans, who are owned by Warner Brothers Family Entertainment. LeBron James, like his legendary counterparts, tends to have trouble against all manner of fiend, whether it's fire-spewing dragons, vicious hell hounds or bedroom-haunting bogeymen. <br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">But beyond their spooky qualities, the Monstars have terrorized every professional and semi-pro league for cartoon characters since 1996. After a banishment from Japan's SML (Sea Monster League), other national associations are hesitant to endorse their foul-laden, dunk-happy style of play. But it has certainly yielded results. <a href="http://www2.warnerbros.com/spacejam/movie/cmp/lineup/img/bupkusstarbig.gif" target="_blank">Monstar Bupkus</a>, the team's leading scorer has a 62 PPG career average on 95% shooting. Their defensive prowess is also comparable to the 2011-2012 Miami Heat, with the two key differences being that the Monstars have still not allowed a field goal or a trip to the free throw line in 182 games of international competition. <br />
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In order to fill the roster at Santa Fe on short notice, the Commissioner has offered a salary exception to any team who is willing to donate its lowest performing players to complete the New Mexicans' 11-man roster. So far, seven teams have anted up players, including one team, the New York Knicks, who have promised Toney Douglas and Bill Walker as a package dump. The New Jersey Nets hope to beat that offer by giving over Shelden Williams, widely known as the Least Valuable Player in the NBA. Williams couldn't be reached for comment, but wife and two-time WNBA MVP Candace Parker, assures the press that he is "excited for the opportunity."<br />
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<h4>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">The Santa Fe New Mexicans' Official Player Intro</span></span></h4>
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ewOzi5-AZXU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
</span><br />
<h4>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">The Miami Heat Official Player Intro</span></span></h4>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/aD9lZflXsgU?rel=0" width="560"></iframe><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-32023247242036240542012-02-22T16:41:00.000-08:002012-02-25T14:12:55.048-08:00Inside the NBA Knick-Names Guard Jeremy Lin<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Jeremy Lin is unprecedented. So a lot of stiff, uninspired, shiftless wordsmiths have been trying to apply our limited language to his seemingly limitless feats. Where two weeks ago, the Knicks were a <a href="http://www.thefourpointplay.com/2012/01/we-ain-een-po-be-here.html" target="_blank">listless squad</a>, roaming the wilds of Herald Square in search of assist skeletons, the flesh of teamwork, Lin has suddenly transformed them into missionaries of Clyde-era fluidity, grooving and hugging their way to seven wins in nine games. But there's no nickname for He Who Uplifts the Masses. The Four Point Play got a rare invitation to join TNT's <i>Inside the NBA</i> cast for a live taping as they conferred a fitting alias on to, one, Jeremy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">As I approached their glowing quartz desktop, I spotted Ernie Johnson reviewing notes from a shot sheet filled with Andrew Weil quotations. He shuffled the papers in their anchor-ly order, before tapping the stack, looking over at Charles Barkley's donut-sugared paws, and wincing. Kenny Smith and Shaquille O'Neal were trying to see how many of their crumpled notes they could throw into a trash can at one time. Kenny set the bar with 3 in one shot, while Shaq struggled to locate the can itself. Some producer kept urging him to try it underhand, but to no avail. Jeremy Lin was in their green room, stage left, reading Augustine's </span><em style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Confessions</em><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"> by a lit candle that was draped in beads. I was stunned to see him, and dashed away though he was beckoning me thither, awash in luster.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx_W8HEpq7wqrQXvZWORw25sgy0RYvSMaiBJmrLtPxDoHstu4ML3SYVW7w6q7oBSqAvCqAQbr86A84SNSlmIG0DQC0b6bPGHz_3IgxLF3V4tSteicozq8RJbYhhwMQRtqTK2TAUsrsDsc/s1600/inside-the-nba-panel-00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx_W8HEpq7wqrQXvZWORw25sgy0RYvSMaiBJmrLtPxDoHstu4ML3SYVW7w6q7oBSqAvCqAQbr86A84SNSlmIG0DQC0b6bPGHz_3IgxLF3V4tSteicozq8RJbYhhwMQRtqTK2TAUsrsDsc/s400/inside-the-nba-panel-00.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><a name='more'></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>charles barkley</b></span>: Can the producers do a photoshop of Shaq eating my donuts?<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaquille o'neal</b></span>: Do a photoshop of Charles with a championship ring first. <br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>charles barkley</b></span>: What is a <em>Shazaam!</em>? Can anybuddy answer that though?<br />
<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaquille o'neal</b></span>: It's the sound a championship ring makes when you put it on. Oh wait --<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny smith</b></span>: You know Chuck auditioned to play Moesha's Dad, y'all. Shout-out to Fredro Starr, by the way. South Jamaica Queens stand up.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>charles</b></span>: That's why </span><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">don't </span><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">nobody tell you nothin' Kinny. I swear I'll never lose another bet to Michael Jordan. The man so creative about embarrassin' people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"> <br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny</b></span>: (curious) And with his <a href="http://wtfismikewearing.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">wardrobe</a> I notice. Mike, put down the distressed denim...for mankind.<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWcvWvNPSYp30q0MOZMMDZfF-FYtvUzI6p7k7KIRaI7Wnn6nIENs2BG3gO4npfb2tVHg7XhyUlgV6Tn81on0iQ-w_dKUoyTtqXQrFkQB1GO8kn-f8Fbmvq0LZdHyrepplCwFPJYNuWrY/s1600/inside-the-nba-panel-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxWcvWvNPSYp30q0MOZMMDZfF-FYtvUzI6p7k7KIRaI7Wnn6nIENs2BG3gO4npfb2tVHg7XhyUlgV6Tn81on0iQ-w_dKUoyTtqXQrFkQB1GO8kn-f8Fbmvq0LZdHyrepplCwFPJYNuWrY/s400/inside-the-nba-panel-01.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>ernie johnson</b></span>: All right gents, speaking of misplaced style, our good friend Shaquille is going to be hosting his new segment <em>What's Shaq-enin' around the NBA?</em> And I am positively excited this is a thing we have to say now.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny</b></span>: It's Shaq-tacular the ways his bosoms Shaq-tate.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>charles</b></span>: I may need lipo-Shaq-tion if I don't get these, uh uh, Shaq handles under control. <br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaq</b></span>: Ahem. I thought they canceled <i>Chappelle's Show</i>. But Tyrone Biggums and Ashy Larry over here got jokes. BUT! NOW! For the main attraction, the BIG SHOW, the NEW SHERIFF in town, the MOST DOMINANT CENTER OF ALL TIME presents --<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>charles</b></span>: He mean he ate the most DOMINO's of all time. Wilt Chamberlain rolling over in his grave.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny</b></span>: Hakeem Olajuwon is rolling over in his grave. What up, Dream? I see you baby.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaq</b></span>: THE MOST DOMINANT CENTER OF ALL TIME PRESENTS: <i>WHAT'S SHAQ-ENIN?</i> with our special guest, Jeremy Lin. How you doing J-Lin?<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCt8fBTXdG1lV7cgaAtDoVWEfjzwZzO6LljWaY9j-fRwnt-Y65mnM4OWnNqQQNEZSOY3373V4qlyQXJcM5R4rUoB-md4McaPeI92Obpkun8yZAqrTv8AdSHOM67zY5_lkgn_YZQc1ahyphenhypheng/s1600/jeremy-lin-02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCt8fBTXdG1lV7cgaAtDoVWEfjzwZzO6LljWaY9j-fRwnt-Y65mnM4OWnNqQQNEZSOY3373V4qlyQXJcM5R4rUoB-md4McaPeI92Obpkun8yZAqrTv8AdSHOM67zY5_lkgn_YZQc1ahyphenhypheng/s400/jeremy-lin-02.jpg" width="359" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>jeremy lin</b></span>: Who am I? What kind of man am I? What evil have I not done? Or if there is evil that I have not done, what evil is there that I have not spoken? If there is any that I have not spoken, what evil is there that I have not willed to do?<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaq</b></span>: You down to fight the battle of good versus evil? Okay, Young Szechuan. I feel your wisdom like howling wind against bamboo reed. You like that one? That's Shaq-Fu, the video game.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny</b></span>: Jeremy, this is Kenny Smith. New York, the East Coast...the whole world is blowing you up right now. How does it feel to be the most popular man in basketball?<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>lin</b></span>: ...since God is light and there is no darkness in Him (1 John 1:5), human beings are darkness while God is light. Human beings are liars; God is a truth-teller. When will human beings become truth-tellers? Approach him and you will be illuminated. (Psalm 34:6)<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJIsrkTf-PQ6ZyDGuh76YYq0uEfujbOOETEJPS_oz53n8AoOgXDU5uaUDCjDXRCB6h_7fVv6a9E4dGG6JR84cKkE5olJfGWnQq_kresYBGrqnEMxAr7BeX9suYUCDPzZesgXs5rTkIOk/s1600/jeremy-linsanity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJIsrkTf-PQ6ZyDGuh76YYq0uEfujbOOETEJPS_oz53n8AoOgXDU5uaUDCjDXRCB6h_7fVv6a9E4dGG6JR84cKkE5olJfGWnQq_kresYBGrqnEMxAr7BeX9suYUCDPzZesgXs5rTkIOk/s400/jeremy-linsanity.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaq</b></span>: Hey Jeremy this is Shaq-Daddy a.k.a. the Big Haiku. I wrote one for you, to pay hummus to your incredible performance these last few weeks.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>ernie</b></span>: It never ends...<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>shaq</b></span>: Jeremy slashes / his swinging swords break kneecaps / blaze to the basket. That's the off the top son. Can't touch me, I'm on fire.<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>lin</b></span>: Can any praise be worthy of the Lord’s majesty?<br />
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<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny</b></span>: Me and Chuck came up with a nickname for J-Lin...because he strikes fear in the hearts of defenders...he shall be called "The Tsunami."<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b><br />
ernie</b></span>: I guess that would make Shaq the "Big Katrina" then?<br />
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(studio quiets suddenly)<br />
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</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQBufUNI-2Y2Orwueum3l4eLl88LM2hDMXAFOEvxdWrpFZtoWffGRUZ1ouyHqt_1-bMk0StoM2aSXXgARQoXuAS8RaaXz91myGf03uZzGSNWl8EUCpaOUEeYhHM1pbNMk3mJ0Fu98CkE/s1600/inside-the-nba-barkley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQBufUNI-2Y2Orwueum3l4eLl88LM2hDMXAFOEvxdWrpFZtoWffGRUZ1ouyHqt_1-bMk0StoM2aSXXgARQoXuAS8RaaXz91myGf03uZzGSNWl8EUCpaOUEeYhHM1pbNMk3mJ0Fu98CkE/s400/inside-the-nba-barkley.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>charles</b></span>: I think the folks down in the Gulf Coast would agree that was too soon, Ernie. Hey Jeremy, last time I went to China they tried to serve me live squid. What's that about? I ain't eatin' no squid claws. Das nasty.<br />
<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>kenny</b></span>: The first time, as a matter of fact, that Chuck has ever turned down food.<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b><br />
lin</b></span>: At this grief my heart was utterly darkened; and whatever I beheld was death. My native country was a torment to me, and my father`s house a strange unhappiness; and whatever I had shared with him, wanting him, became a distracting torture...<br />
<br />
(broadcast cuts)<br />
<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b>ernie</b></span>: Tune in next week for the rest of our bizarre interview with the undefinable man, Jeremy Lin. <br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b><br />
shaq</b></span>: Or, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Jumper...<br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b><br />
all</b></span>: (groaning) Shaq. Maaaaaan. Come on. <br />
<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><b><br />
shaquille o'neal</b></span>: No?<br />
<br />
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</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-70943184181187911942012-02-07T22:49:00.000-08:002012-02-08T09:59:10.897-08:00The Clippers Are Four Point Play Team of the Year<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Chris Paul, despite his bullish personality, is a likable figure on this Clippers platoon. He sets the landmines, wires the dynamite and explodes into truculent lectures when team demands go unmet. He is the cliché floor general, but never has his mission been so clear, his weapons so potent. Essentially, Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, and DeAndre Jordan aim to change the way basketball is played from the pro level down. Much of TFPP philosophies, the scrolls handed down from visionaries and then inscribed on the gums of Kevin Durant, are an attempt to predict where basketball will be in ten years. When will point values change to meet the growing relevance of long high-value shots like the three pointer? (1, 2, 3 and 4-point lines) When will passes that precede assists be measured in the game tally? Charges taken? Possession swings that result in 8 point fluctuations? The Clippers, famously cheap as a franchise, will always challenge conventions in the name of squeezing production out of an inexpensive roster. And with the NBA pressed to protect its lowly and/or thrifty owners from its profligate spenders and/or <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIiM91tc1fk" target="_blank">maniacs</a>, the cheapos, at their best, get creative about roster building. Perhaps the Clips would have liked to keep sharpshooter Eric Gordon, or even defensive (slow) scorer Chris Kaman, but the opportunity to swipe Chris Paul from the Hornets, with an optional buy-in after trial season, was undeniable. Mainly, the Lob City Experiment is an innovator's brainchild. Donald Sterling thought critically about the trends in basketball, and how to get a season turnaround in an abbreviated time, while still paying <a href="http://www.shamsports.com/content/pages/data/salaries/clippers.jsp" target="_blank">pennies on the dollar</a> for his second bona fide star in Blake Griffin.</span>
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<a name='more'></a>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Could he have anticipated that the top-tier teams in the West would have as many problems matching up with the aerial onslaught that Mr. Paul and Mr. Griffin initiate when they arrive? For instance, the Clips have a league leader in steals, who also happens to <span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">dutifully </span><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">set the table for his partners like a lonely, unemployed husband. What's more, the Clippers have 4 guards who shoot 35% or above from the 3 point line, with Paul leading the pack at a stunning 49%, now a quarter in to the shortened season. They've made the 6th most 3-point shots in the league with 166. The apparent outside threat is only anchored by the inside (upside?) rim-gunners, Jordan and Griffin. Last year, <a href="http://www.82games.com/1011/10LAC17.HTM" target="_blank">36% of Jordan's shot attempts</a> were dunks. This year it's half of his attempts. Although Griffin's rookie year signature shot was the dunk, it was mostly because his mushy outside shot makes Grandma frown, and his left hand dribble belongs in her bedpan. It was one of few shots he could convert. All the same, he attempted dunks only <a href="http://www.82games.com/1011/10LAC14.HTM" target="_blank">11% of the time</a>. This year, he's attempting to dunk on every third shot. In sum, the Other L.A. Team puts pressure on the ball with their diminutive guards, picks away possessions, and then plants seeds for either dunks or 3 point shots. Scoring in the mid-range seems both superfluous and contradictory. Keep teams guessing, eyes scanning for a floating ball, which may or may not be heaved full-force into the net. Caron Butler can shoot a three, or take his defender off of the dribble or set up Mo Williams or pick-and-roll with Blake Griffin. Chris Paul is infinite. DeAndre's vocabulary is ozone, Blake's is the cosmos. Limitless ways exist for the ball to move upward and across the court, but how many teams use gravity, physics, kinetics to their advantage? Despite a dull coach, and some incessant rock graveling by their star guard, Lob City's impending success will hinge on suspended flight like no other team's in history. Although the Showtime Lakers tore runways at unseen speeds, their fleet was small. James Worthy and Michael Cooper could elevate but relative to <a href="http://deadspin.com/5880763/blake-griffin-just-dunked-on-the-entire-perkins-family-tree" target="_blank">this kind of behavior</a>, it registers like the flap of a single butterfly wing in a Saudi sand storm.</span></span>
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<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"></span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsPVRXHiWymZ0ZB2b4ObZpkTTo1h7pWBESbmzKWcqQcTN00Cf1uzzeX0Jwec8mG54QpVnONNdtyeoKh168ZIVTggguwvdn8_pMofW7Ua4JJwMKuhosfXqlan4KMt2B2TTtxkUx-GyAjk4/s1600/blake-yamzo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsPVRXHiWymZ0ZB2b4ObZpkTTo1h7pWBESbmzKWcqQcTN00Cf1uzzeX0Jwec8mG54QpVnONNdtyeoKh168ZIVTggguwvdn8_pMofW7Ua4JJwMKuhosfXqlan4KMt2B2TTtxkUx-GyAjk4/s1600/blake-yamzo.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Many teams, in many forms, have had explosive dunkers and dead-eye three-point shooting guards. Some of them even had a capable point man to arrange it all. Few featured all three elements, and those who did made the Finals more often than not. A varied airborne attack includes passing, dunking and distance shots. And the Clippers weakest area, rebounding, will now be the job of glass czar Kenyon Martin. Even if they don't pass the semifinal round, they have won the Relevance Award for the season to the delight of any bench man who ever hit the four point play. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-28254905335248599372012-01-25T09:30:00.000-08:002012-02-08T10:13:44.174-08:00We Ain' E'en Po' Be Here<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">These Knicks. First, fabulous names. Really United Nations-y of them to assemble a Carmelo, an Amare, a Landry, a Renaldo, an Iman and put them alongside a Bill, a Toney, a Steve, a Mike, and a Josh. It howls <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/multiculti">multiculti</a>. We've created a safe space for enigmatic poets, Bradyesque icons of cool and Ivy League workmen. Lost in that sauce? A semblance of defense, the remaining ingenuity of Mike D'Antoni, Carmelo's confidence/arrogance, chemistry, heart, effort...you know, small details.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
<img src="http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/otis-aziz.gif" />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">But as far as vanity teams go, James Dolan has finally composed his masterpiece. The 2012 Knicks may only rival last year's perennially dysfunctional Lakers and the 2005-6 Miami Heat and Dallas Maverick squads, whose stars had to roll with Antoine Walker's prudence, Ron Artest's cleverness and Kobe Bryant's patience. This version of reluctant team play and star-tending produces a joy I'm certain could only be replicated with a new time and temperature at Ye Olde Garden. The ingredients for a tumultuous (but not necessarily successful) vanity outfit:</span><br />
<br />
</span>
<br />
<ol><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">
<li>An Offensive EgoManiac</li>
<li>An Overpaid (Misunderstood) Defensive Anchor</li>
<li>A Delusional Bench Weirdo</li>
<li>Undeserved Championship Favoritism</li>
<li>Aging Guru Coach</li>
</span></span></ol>
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Which brings us to...ball so hard, this sh*t weird/we ain' e'en po be here" the hauntingly eloquent and fitting Hov lyrics that describe the position of the current Knix team. They ain't po be here, by any stretch of the imagination, not in the conversation of title contenders, or even dark horse long shots.</span> <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"> Typically, teams who don't defend, cannot produce beyond the starters, and caterwaul like castrati during final minutes never reach the championship podium. But, those teams often feature the L's most dazzling personalities, disguised as winning-components-to-be. Carmelo's charm hasn't helped him evade the boo-birds swooping into a nouveau riche Madison Square Garden, projecting their frustrations about Allan Houston on to a man 13 years his junior. Even the Great STAT Disappointment, a product of the compromise between a hasty GM and a pressured president, has been a unique subplot to keep this vanity team on course for a surprise ending, but no sequel to speak of. We ball so hard...Bill Walker gets 15 minutes a game. We ball so hard...our star sinks into a historic shooting slump and fancies himself a passer (?) for the time being. We ball so hard...Landry Fields is starting at shooting guard. Basically, ball so hard, this sh*t weird, we ain' e'en po' be here. This team, however, is just quirky enough and filled with competitors (Iman Shumpert is 2nd in the L in steals and 1st in ST/48) that it could hatch a "N*ggas in Paris" fantasy, stand on tables with open champagne jugs and pretend like it never knew there was a terrible bench, a lame duck coach, and a penthouse of stars supported by a basement of scrubs. Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSpxErsKENvG2O3Canb7IwFPDJSTgbPwrynZaOj5Z0P8RquhGdXlnl3bvRC17vGpY-bZzVn4srh98sWtTR7DQ_YGnfGbewN8afnh2bafXrAT3b2Ouh5Cw-p6-cH7Vi2lJFoM2uL1vG5W8/s1600/2012-1-05-TFPP-graphic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSpxErsKENvG2O3Canb7IwFPDJSTgbPwrynZaOj5Z0P8RquhGdXlnl3bvRC17vGpY-bZzVn4srh98sWtTR7DQ_YGnfGbewN8afnh2bafXrAT3b2Ouh5Cw-p6-cH7Vi2lJFoM2uL1vG5W8/s320/2012-1-05-TFPP-graphic.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;"><br />
But not everything wins. In the case of the vanity teams here profiled, only the 2005-6 Miami Heat concocted the solution for victory brass. And their offensive egomaniac (Wade) had a peaked Shaq by his side. So that's one and three-quarters stars, and that changes the whole recipe. Maybe with more milk the Knix could sniff those results. </span>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjcw5jMnFKOFtpOKchqvBi9bzZmSqdHbL7LsuMQZWgiNeXeMSzjq6nHs-gtlA7eNFQEY3DiRTphVz47t0c2-8RZhzQc1Zmi3hpcEOMOFwObJxWbuQBjNon2n3TipFIvp-qHUtTa6z0YDE/s1600/Stat-Melo-Chandler-lurefishbar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjcw5jMnFKOFtpOKchqvBi9bzZmSqdHbL7LsuMQZWgiNeXeMSzjq6nHs-gtlA7eNFQEY3DiRTphVz47t0c2-8RZhzQc1Zmi3hpcEOMOFwObJxWbuQBjNon2n3TipFIvp-qHUtTa6z0YDE/s400/Stat-Melo-Chandler-lurefishbar.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Ball so hard, I'm shocked too!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-78408527937164470782011-02-04T08:36:00.000-08:002011-02-08T09:50:17.731-08:00The Four Point Play: The NBA Nomenclature Edition<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">What better way to transfer the Rucker Park tradition of naming a player by his tendencies than to give the NBA's lesser-knowns the royal treatment. Typically, aliases come from on-court specialties or demeanor. But all the coolest nicknames come from qualities that could never be expressed in a basketball game alone. Rather than rewarding only star players whose signature moves easily birth an AKA, we, The Four Point Play, convene to issue names for the overlooked, underpaid players who make the league a wonderful place. Word to Kevin Love.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHMV_hc0ZkDL76tpt3ymq61K-J3MGjjqfl3shbCf66f31arwNSWEzgC62-_NQpH1TtNZVI1I0dgObCxqxhI7C_Hce4A_gjEMLNsyIdKUz3DZFV5osjHpAMFrmAK9c321Nfyp_4ULwy0ws/s1600/hayward-spicoli.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHMV_hc0ZkDL76tpt3ymq61K-J3MGjjqfl3shbCf66f31arwNSWEzgC62-_NQpH1TtNZVI1I0dgObCxqxhI7C_Hce4A_gjEMLNsyIdKUz3DZFV5osjHpAMFrmAK9c321Nfyp_4ULwy0ws/s640/hayward-spicoli.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>Rookie Gordon Hayward wishes he could leave the Draconian Jerry Sloan regime. Since his days at Butler, he's been pigeonholed as systematic, and that's the problem. What happened to just playing for fun, he wonders. <b>The spirit of Spicoli is strong in him.</b><br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSWEJj2wnm7hXeSOCCvonpFB3QjEIZNBdpIa-ghoC1IcjqHlLAQrqTaRpcowZUJXiEMomNTsd_74FjaNAp9CG89NRSDwIpSWIAhH376SmgRQjIBnC0_BWyi58siA__gyKizdYEdP5mSEo/s1600/kristc-cage-adaptation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSWEJj2wnm7hXeSOCCvonpFB3QjEIZNBdpIa-ghoC1IcjqHlLAQrqTaRpcowZUJXiEMomNTsd_74FjaNAp9CG89NRSDwIpSWIAhH376SmgRQjIBnC0_BWyi58siA__gyKizdYEdP5mSEo/s640/kristc-cage-adaptation.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>It's been a psychological roller coaster whirl for Nenad Krstic as he's adjusted to his role in the Oklahoma City Thunder parable. After reincarnating himself in the Bruiser Big Man role, and brawling his way to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9O9FjX5ewM">international notoriety</a>, Nena is a conflicted twin of both smooth shooting big man and boorish foul merchant. He's outside of himself, writing his own story, and there's no clear end. <b>Nenad Krstic a.k.a The Adaptation</b>.<br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE2FTqT01zKqZRfaWCXwNBp_4dlQ6sszRWYCis3eaUciZe8ti0ylN-BYqXydHAGT6w5msm-IbXD0sPH3-j6H03IOcBGguIKr22o_YdU8W6HWNaQc0CzE4wWC11nFq8i5PAjmSfF3exF5Q/s1600/spoelstra-iglesias.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE2FTqT01zKqZRfaWCXwNBp_4dlQ6sszRWYCis3eaUciZe8ti0ylN-BYqXydHAGT6w5msm-IbXD0sPH3-j6H03IOcBGguIKr22o_YdU8W6HWNaQc0CzE4wWC11nFq8i5PAjmSfF3exF5Q/s1600/spoelstra-iglesias.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"><br />
Talk about genre-bending. The Miami Heat season started out as drama, possibly even tragedy, then quickly turned to comedy and, finally, absurd satire of a championship season. Their 9-8 start enlivened already voluble critics, then a turn-around game at Cleveland began a 21 out of 22 game win stretch. Now <a href="http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/j/jamesle01/gamelog/2011/">LeBron</a> is regularly dropping 35 points and numerous assists, while making a strong case for the MVP. Erik Spoelstra seems to be the only one able to accept the wild scenario without breaking stride, and has made himself just as likely a candidate for Coach of the Year, even with his glut of talent. (The Miami Heat is also the <a href="http://www.basketball-reference.com/teams/MIA/2011.html">oldest</a> team in the league.) With <b>Erik Spoelstra as Enrique Iglesias...</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"><b> </b><br />
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-76390794574174190432011-01-05T15:42:00.000-08:002012-03-05T17:36:57.180-08:00Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and the NBA<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"><br />
In honor of Ron Artest saying this about Javale McGee:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"He potentially could be a really good player," Artest said. "I think he got to go to school a little bit more. He's got to work on that IQ a little bit. He got to watch more tape. I don't think he watches tape. I think he plays video games. I do. I don't think he watches tape. I think he plays video games and I think he could possibly have an Atari. He should upgrade to a Play Station."<br />
<br />
Atari? He's that out of date?<br />
<br />
"Possibly Atari," Artest said. "He could potentially become a force, if, if he wants to. But if he doesn't, he can continue to play Atari."</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's about time for TFPP to give a shoutout to the multi-faceted but somehow awful players who, needless to say, share an affinity for the cannabis herb. Now, this is no NORML campaign, but the editors must admit to a liberal stance on the subject of what differentiates "legal" and "illegal" drugs. Be that as it may, the casual NBA player (emphasis on casual) may also be prone to other recreational pursuits that hinder overall development, and leave fans waiting for the spaceship that never lands. Mainly, the gents lighting up the pink eyed monster in between contests make for a confusing follow. <br />
<br />
Some of these players have had an awakening like Bradd Pitt in <i>True Romance</i>, picking up their droopy lids for long enough to put a consistent season together. While their counterparts continue to crash and fizzle like the ashes of their Swisher Sweets, Bill Walker, Brandon Rush, Michael Beasley, Wilson Chandler, Shawne Williams, Dorrell Wright, Zach Randolph, Joakim Noah, Vlad Radmanovic (DJ Vlad to you), Mario Chalmers, Brad Miller and Udonis Haslem have put down the leaf and papers for more ambitious aims. The NBA has a contentious relationship with these young men, but dreadful marijuana hasn't quite ended their careers...instead it's sent them on a meandering path to middle-dom. That said, not every player is suited for stardom, </span><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">and it isn't far-fetched that</span><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"> yeoman icons like Haslem, Chandler and Noah might want to ease the enduring pain of a long season with a prayer circle and some lit incense. Although few players with known smoking patterns are enshrined in the Hall of Fame, the admitted potheads populate a list of Best Ever nominees, namely Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Bill Walton and Phil Jackson. They occupy a special wing of the Springfield Hall called How Harmful Can It Be, or the honorary Eastern Philosophy Wing.</span> <span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3HgoWlFWiuIYF0VNTTb1lpurKCoVRfogIyzm4w9EES7iuRRo0CwhrmQ-VUQDPrMX33rn18IsRMYU3HjbG9fYqf7Yq4CZgZQdTQfOmSIF5sNoKxIq10HgV6eFx5XcfTDEeDz_FVa3IvCg/s1600/blunt-down-title-card.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3HgoWlFWiuIYF0VNTTb1lpurKCoVRfogIyzm4w9EES7iuRRo0CwhrmQ-VUQDPrMX33rn18IsRMYU3HjbG9fYqf7Yq4CZgZQdTQfOmSIF5sNoKxIq10HgV6eFx5XcfTDEeDz_FVa3IvCg/s1600/blunt-down-title-card.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"> <br />
Nevertheless, regular toking is not recommended for the professional athlete, much less the basketball superstar. Although the plays are simple, basketball requires a great memory, free from the fog of evening cartoon-watching. Practice starts bright and early with no special exception for the wake and bake rituals that may precede it (J.R., ahem). Recreational activities don't necessarily mix with professional obligations so I have gladly created an NBA Player to Puff Weed Intake chart. This is a guide for first-to-veteran year players who need moderation exemplified.<br />
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<a name='more'></a> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"><u>The Need to Put the Blunt Down First Team</u><br />
J.R. Smith<br />
Anthony Randolph<br />
Baron Davis</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Delonte West</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Renaldo Balkman</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Lamar Odom</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Boris Diaw</span><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"><br />
Rashard Lewis</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Dishonorable Mention</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Charlie Villanueva</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhySkbigN7RrDVeOIStFuTGAmw5QMqFF2PPGnrGWhYoxnJjt7BvbRN-cuxs20YlZy5BfU_R3c2wjeb91NB3YEMmdV7fOcrqLhXn_8nMQ-ucSCh_rEp9nYY0jtVcY46RfbFK2GhrWDzgmMs/s1600/player-2-wd-rough.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhySkbigN7RrDVeOIStFuTGAmw5QMqFF2PPGnrGWhYoxnJjt7BvbRN-cuxs20YlZy5BfU_R3c2wjeb91NB3YEMmdV7fOcrqLhXn_8nMQ-ucSCh_rEp9nYY0jtVcY46RfbFK2GhrWDzgmMs/s1600/player-2-wd-rough.jpg" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-45069972116816701462010-12-06T13:26:00.000-08:002012-03-05T15:12:09.228-08:00Angry White Men<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img imageanchor="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIN4n8i3n_AWkVmTANTwIBK5TB0EvThOSldAk6uCWeytNonSexl8l9rZGkLqQ9_kvTFBZsnqeFw_jb_NMwe2bVEiSZC2n9CzdNQ8lJezSFcEgkGtXEH9dzTnE7DQFlfDnJTz0woES-xg8/s1600/chris-andersen-free.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span">"Like, free from <i>labels</i>, yaknow?"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">There will never be an American history that excludes the Angry White Man, insofar as this group has principally defined how the electorate behaves. When those Jamestown natives rebelled against the Cavaliers who sought to protect inherited power, to reap the benefits of commonplace work, and to limit farmers' ability to profit, it was the first of many soft rebellions staged on behalf of the poor white male worker. The labor disputes of the early 20th century, the battles that felled the monopoly (momentarily), were indicative, again, of the Angry White Man declaring what was rightfully his. And now the Tea Party is the millennium era shout-out to those scrappy white folks, unwilling to concede anything without severe negotiations and entrenched discussions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">The NBA boasts these heroes too, often lost accessories in a game of leaping, smiling Negro youths. Only in the modern NBA does the white male experience the wholesale physical colonization that he so often administered in history. And though many of the team owners are white, white players struggle to experience kinship with the executive who would more likely send his family packing than invite them over for dinner. When a white player is able to free himself of the class shackles, stingy stereotypes and novelty amusement puns, he creates a loving tribute to an American tradition. White men can't jump but they can get down, goes the wisdom.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">In the millennial era, white players have hued the game so varyingly that American white players, the ones who get compared to railroad workers and blue collars, are often lost in the shuffle. Something about coming through the American college basketball circuit seems to shunt the NBA glam Hollywood edge that would ultimately make white players "cool" by new age standards. But these types, they evade highlight reels like Delonte West does traffic stops. That's why they need their own essay, lest Glenn Beck start lending hugs to sensitive thugs.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">In no particular order...</span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGIWEwFgaWIbZA3U6Ucu52QGcZE1yuiXsPu6qnBiC597XV7vjWSom0glRFVhrQiQeAZpZXBrEbFj1E5Wzib_4b-PHmqUrBI4xEJBS1TkUQtu1N3VRjIfMA3DM7DnhG1zUqAUAb4whcl74/s1600/david-lee-kevin-love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGIWEwFgaWIbZA3U6Ucu52QGcZE1yuiXsPu6qnBiC597XV7vjWSom0glRFVhrQiQeAZpZXBrEbFj1E5Wzib_4b-PHmqUrBI4xEJBS1TkUQtu1N3VRjIfMA3DM7DnhG1zUqAUAb4whcl74/s320/david-lee-kevin-love.jpg" width="222" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rebounding: The Other White Meat<br />
<br />
</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Not only does David Lee get the Laugh Factory treatment for his game, he gets traded from young upstart teams to BETTER young upstart teams in the blink of an eye. But you don't have to tell that to Kevin Love, who got his first taste of race discrimination in a draft night trade (by yet another benificent white man, Kevin McHale). The rabbit hole gets deeper.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">What can we say about Chris "Birdman" Andersen that hasn't been said? For starters, bravo. Thank you for exposing the greater NBA fanbase to your abuse of drugs, free time and the ability to fly. To Jason Williams, who owns his white man's burden every day with the words inked into his knuckles, we salute you for dribbling the ball so hard, it seems like the ground suffers from your very crossover, rumbles in your passing wake. It's going to take way more than one Miami Heat championship to take the ghettos of Belle, West Virginia out of that man's heart, and fans couldn't be happier.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Just the thought of these ham-and-cheese eating fellows brings to mind the Old Western or Lucky Strike cigarettes, a white American tradition too old to be relevant, but still somehow revered and revisited decade after decade. Sure, Dirk and Pau and Andrea and Danilo are "white" in the sense that they share phenotypes, but they could not be more different in their approach and their rejection of the established in-game hierarchy of American basketball from their Californian and Midwestern counterparts. Even Nash, in his Canadian slick whiteness, parades as something other than the scrappy, utilitarian expectation of American white players. For that grit, we look to Brian Scalabrine, or even his namesake, Brian Cardinal. Imagine an NBA game with more than two Brians on the court at the same time, and you're likely dreaming up some blowout, powered by D-League bombers and 10-day contracts. Though we find these stereotypes problematic, it's been the only way to take notice of anything non-black in professional basketball. Affix white players with the hopes of thousands of Larry Bird fans, celebrate their attention to dirty work and detail, subtly undermine international players who do many of the same things, and here is a myth that's both imitable and rooted.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">Still, they have been lost in the endless identity shuffling of the National Basketball Association, which is its own breeding ground for types yet unseen and niches undiscovered. J.J. Redick, for example, makes hay out of his college reputation by remaining a respectable shooter with a layer of defensive tenacity uncommon to most skillful white players. Troy Murphy, also a sharpshooter, has built his staunch reputation by grabbing rebounds with alacrity, a defiant part of his game that functions like a vestige of Angry Whiteness learned in his early years playing. Even when Murphy landed in the perfect role for a shooting player (with both the Golden State Warriors and the Indiana Pacers), he wouldn't easily abandon his dedication to rebounding like a traditional forward, sliding into the paint at opportune times to secure his meal. For every Wonder Bread eating Nick Collison, a fixed tall player limited to one duty, there is a Brad Miller, a tall player bent on exposing and exploiting the other facets of his game. That's what binds American white players in this wilderness: the ability to adapt four or five skills deftly in a game that encourages scattered dozens of skills. Often enough, we assign traits of "whiteness" or of "blackness" based on that adaptability or lack thereof. J.J. Redick is rewarded with a major contract offer after averaging a modest 9.6 points on the promise that his work ethic far outweighs what he could ever bring to the statistical crockpot. J.R. Smith, a better scorer than Redick on the NBA level but certainly as erratic as they come, will suffer both for reasons of perception and comparison. Since there are players doing more with less (white players at that!) Smith will forever be trapped by projections of his own potential. Ironically, Redick has shaken off those expectations by limiting his upside significantly, and making the shots he's best equipped to make, wide open, long-range threes. Although J.R. Smith operates in similar territory, his dunking/slashing/stealing game seems to promise more, so he's evaluated more closely on what he doesn't do, and overlooked largely for his advantages. That's not to say that only white players are noted for their work ethic or for their ability to apply given skills, but there's certainly little mention of black players who do the same unless it's on those aforementioned terms of "whiteness." What's more, when those black role players, blue collars, lunchpails and the like achieve this apogee of skilled play/lesser talent, they're often treated as stars, the implication being that as soon as it's black, it's magic. There can be no black role player if there is also a black star because they're one in the same. Stars get there not through hard work, dedication and focus, but through the enabling powers of his franchise, his agent and starry-eyed fans. Similarly, the white player who has tremendous and surreal abilities (see: Birdman) is written into the same history as Nick Collison, rather average and human in comparison.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'MS PGothic', sans-serif;">So we haven't fully confronted the workload that a post-racial society requires when we reward J.J. Redick and Kevin Love for their ability to hide huge athletic minuses, but sour on Ron Artest when his game takes a turn for the Hoosier, methodical and understated. Even so, the NBA is the one league chocked with these examples of stereotype-busting white boys and hard-to-label black boys; and it forces us to look at why we haven't strayed far from the Jordan/Magic/Bird examples when there are so many descendants of those types who fall squarely in between their fault lines.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh09XBjWnDdys42W9kttS4_JSymCEOrymPHGwkk52DsEqqoC2Dbl1uz7Y_h9lEBnOvm3ZX4VfPFPRsG2SLBTsDpScDXFJAYlNellLNFwGSf0GZDOwR1PY9yyh5_TZLct-Q0jnqLNNMiOKg/s1600/zone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh09XBjWnDdys42W9kttS4_JSymCEOrymPHGwkk52DsEqqoC2Dbl1uz7Y_h9lEBnOvm3ZX4VfPFPRsG2SLBTsDpScDXFJAYlNellLNFwGSf0GZDOwR1PY9yyh5_TZLct-Q0jnqLNNMiOKg/s320/zone.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lately, I haven't been feeling like myself.</td></tr>
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</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-27897379821683232602010-11-26T14:45:00.000-08:002012-03-05T15:16:11.227-08:00Ron Artest: From Oddball to Specialist Oddball in Five Years<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Only humble great players can accept leveraging their diminishing skills into lesser roles for more wins. For one thing, most terrific, cornerstone, franchise foundation, meteoric ballers are treated as such, and therefore have a hard time admitting when their abilities have deteriorated beyond the point of fancy shots falling. Hangers-on endorse them to no end, baby mothers ask for more money, and the expectations only increase with every All-Star appearance. When that rueful day comes, when their vertical leap measures the height of a cinder block, some walk off slowly, but most live through a bevy of trades to worse teams in smaller markets at each stop. Allen Iverson went the way of the dodo as soon as some GM leaked the inside information that he looked a few steps slower in practice. Shaquille O'Neal turned from NBA's greatest giant to traveling sideshow in the span of a year.<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Ron Artest stands out because of how his career made that turn both abruptly and ungracefully, and in a simultaneous series of events his personal struggles multiplied in that tumultuous two-year period. However unceremonious his decline, he ironically found success right there in his worst statistical years. Mainly, it's because he modified what he did on the court so that his specialties were narrower but more powerful in the end. Ron Artest became a defender who could shoot three-point shots, as opposed to a multi-faceted scorer who could defend in stretches, and it made him more valuable to franchises over time.<br />
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That journey from uncommonly skillful star to targeted role player marked a psychological transition for Artest that he would later comment on with wispy appreciation. The 2003-04 season revealed him as the league's premiere defender. In showdowns with its pre-eminent stars, he could frustrate them into bad games. Dirk Nowitzki shot 40% against Artest's hammering defense -- on two occasions. LeBron James had 11 turnovers, basketball's version of the forced error, in three losses against the Indiana Pacers. And in a climate where high school phenoms had become the new mutant-era superheroes, his play, rumbling in the lane and facing up to difficult defensive challenges, seemed pedestrian in comparison to the feats of LeBron James, Tracy McGrady and Kobe Bryant (although he regularly found ways to perplex and defeat them). Artest could not dunk the ball above the cylinder or fly in for blocks. He could barely outrun his own fleet team, but his foot speed never determined how good he was. The most telling evidence of his undervalued status was Ron's quiet reaction to being selected to the All-Star team in 2004. In the year prior to Artest's selection, LeBron James's exclusion had been the subject of much debate. Even in the Cavaliers' mediocre season, James was now an object of public adoration, the coveted forward in the East who proved that college training was no longer necessary in the professional ranks. Just as famously, Michael Jordan was selected to the East All-Star team in a wave of nostalgia that effectively consumed the media, who still ached to complete the Greatest Basketball storyline. Once again, in Artest's most inspired seasons, he was merely a footnote until he did something wrong. He had been bookended by the positive dreams of the future and the noble relics of the past. All the while, he played brilliantly, recording 35 20-point games, 2 30-point games, and collecting 152 steals (15 shy of the leader that year).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">Pacers who fit the same mold of high-school standout turned pro also overshadowed Ron Artest, Jermaine O'Neal for his sterling play as a rebounder and scorer, and Al Harrington mostly for his promise.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">The Defensive Player of the Year award Ron earned that year may have been the worst kind of consolation prize for a man who seriously committed his efforts to become one of the best players </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">in the world</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">, on either end of the floor. Though he played similarly ferocious defense in the three years that followed the award, he never reached that pinnacle of "best" at anything after his crown achievement as D.P.O.Y. To that end, Ron Artest was the leader in unofficial awards and unheralded skills, but never the face of the NBA. He was too busy acting as its notorious scapegoat, staving off the critic and his own personal troubles to become the devastating perimeter player many initially doubted he could be. What's worse, as Artest began to adjust his mental game to the realities of an aging body and increasingly harsh opinions of his effect on teams, he had already been traded two times. The clock on his career was ticking and his ability to affect the game holistically was diminishing in concert.<br />
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No matter how crazed Ron Artest was (the words "crazy" and "Artest" appear in 64 headlines from 2003-2010), his statistical production mirrored his commitment to fitness and defensive impact. Gradually, Ron's efforts floated from scoring in the middle of the paint, defined by bullishness and forcing the opposition to respond, to the metaphorical sidelines, learning to shoot the long ball more accurately and confine guards to the ropes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'MS PGothic',sans-serif;">In that way, Artest is the model player for TheFourPointPlay and will be a figure this journal focuses on in depth, both in terms of his recorded output and his psychological movements.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819635917211020456.post-64430696350448968662010-11-05T11:31:00.000-07:002011-02-08T09:32:01.070-08:00The Night Toney Douglas Was Born<span style="font-family:"MS PGothic","sans-serif"">
<p>It is a mighty struggle to avoid making this a Knicks blog. For one, grandma bred in me a love for the Blue and Red (or is it orange?) that still stirs me to rapture today. Second, the Knicks are barely relevant without Amar'e Stoudemire as a cipher for Judaism, poetry, race relations, labor disputes and general chicanery. Even so, the Knicks present a challenge to the perceived order of the NBA today. At first dismissed as a sideshow, their threats are real and urgent in the context of the season. Raymond Felton can handle the rock like a maven, though his shooting prowess is limited. Toney Douglas makes up for what Felton lacks in shooting, but has no court vision. Anthony Randolph rebounds where Amar'e can't and a whole long list of Frankenstein parts compensating for amputations. Even Rony Turiaf and Timofey Mozgov work like conjoined twins to fulfill their duties as centers. Generally, it's all confusing but, at least right now, it looks like a load of fun.</p>
<p>New York and Chicago haven't had a true rivalry since a certain No. 23 suited up for the Bulls and a Jamaican immigrant fought arduously to stop him. Aside from the defection of Jamal Crawford from Chicago to New York in his early career, there has been little player movement to even trump up a debate between the two squads. A couple of New York locals have played in the the Bulls uniform, including Ron Artest (The Bridge), Ben Gordon (Money-Earnin' Mount Vernon) and more recently Joakim Noah (Harlem World), but none to scintillating effect. Naturally, the two cities seem like they could be jungle predators fighting for a final bone, but in basketball 2010, Chicago's Derrick Rose/Luol Deng/Joakim Noah combo are the real show here. When TNT decided to air Knicks-Bulls, it was a respectful nod to what that contest should mean but not what it amounted to.</p>
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<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioTbPZB7Ti4IeqEXRJKIq4ScJPZqhzUpfmkfyNYlFU_nPi-FizKKmMqjrY6UnQXY556F2QSME1SU8wxYtAXdfSrIYky1qxTcFEDkH0Pi8w1-rO64XaFdeg967mno2oUIRoKGiJicW8BoI/s1600/ewing-1993-playoffs.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioTbPZB7Ti4IeqEXRJKIq4ScJPZqhzUpfmkfyNYlFU_nPi-FizKKmMqjrY6UnQXY556F2QSME1SU8wxYtAXdfSrIYky1qxTcFEDkH0Pi8w1-rO64XaFdeg967mno2oUIRoKGiJicW8BoI/s400/ewing-1993-playoffs.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5536522256732757170" /></a></div>
<p>But then in a strange and FourPointPlay-like turn of events, the Knicks turned into the dreamy style small-ball, running-gunning terror I had come to love in my childhood. Specifically, the guard play from Toney Douglas and Raymond Felton were a serene potion of attentive defense and made three-point baskets. In the previous season, though the Knicks shot 2145 threes and made a paltry 34% of them in comparison (the league high was 41%), charges like Danilo Gallinari made a name for themselves by simply showing a willingness to take shots from anywhere on the floor <i>not </i>near the basket. The Mike D'Antoni fusillade of 3-bombs was not enough to make a new man out of Tracy McGrady or Al Harrington, mind you, but it certainly emboldened young phenoms like Gallo and Nate Robinson to fire at will. In the end, it read like a chaotic war plan from an even more desperate platoon.</p>
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But on the night Toney Douglas was born, that season of futility culminated into his career-breaking game. In an instant, he made Derrick Rose, a master of tearing into the lane and finding teammates, basically an ineffectual piece because he could not answer shot for shot with his lesser peer, one Toney Douglas. And it brought into question just how important Rose could be if he didn't adapt to this modern game by adding a long-range shot to his arsenal. Although Douglas, Gallinari and D'Antoni have a long way to go before they prove that this strategy works with any other team besides the stacked '05/'06 Phoenix Suns, their dramatic turn into a young squad with something to prove is a source of hope for even the most cynical fans on New York basketball. Specifically, Douglas has been on a mission that re-imagines the term guard in almost the same way that Mike Bibby and Jason Terry did a decade earlier. His first five games have been a story of open court mayhem with 11 threes and 12 steals signifying how his particular set of skills will be a welcome asset as Stoudemire wanders the wilderness of jump-shooting big men. The same way that Amar'e's position of Power Forward betrays the fact that he is, at heart, a scorer who happens to be 6'10, Douglas's label Point Guard betrays his function as a tempo-pusher and shot-maker.</p>
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<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BjRKlsjj9IYHCgtzDPSZgzHYI_ZaMgUUHHJLLQhrMIN6CLaoQNWp8hEswPoKhpdA_yv4C9x0jvG-_-Qgu_l4dpiz9CfWZv1Pvf5Kh7wXfe5jWqCWsBAteUV4WdF2Jswvs5dQrDledXs/s1600/339d65e4a6a24312db0e6a706700404f.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 326px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9BjRKlsjj9IYHCgtzDPSZgzHYI_ZaMgUUHHJLLQhrMIN6CLaoQNWp8hEswPoKhpdA_yv4C9x0jvG-_-Qgu_l4dpiz9CfWZv1Pvf5Kh7wXfe5jWqCWsBAteUV4WdF2Jswvs5dQrDledXs/s400/339d65e4a6a24312db0e6a706700404f.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5536521113906534962" /></a></div>
<p>The FourPointPlay is about players who make the biggest difference in 5 minute stretches with non-traditional, impudent grabs for power. Toney Douglas has just made this list. Other players of note, who can choke the life out of a team with a steal and a well-timed three point shot:</p>
<ol>
<li>Jamal Crawford</li>
<li>Mickael Pietrus</li>
<li>Steph Curry</li>
<li>Jameer Nelson</li>
<li>Deron Williams</li>
<li>Chauncey Billups</li>
<li>Jason Richardson</li>
</ol>
<p>This group is as truncated as it is unofficial but it helps for context. Has the post-millennial game leaned more toward players who can not just retain possession but create turnovers and then get the absolute highest point value from the forced turnover? Theorize for a moment if Rajon Rondo could hit three point shots. Is there any doubt the Celtics would have frustrated last year's Lakers all the way to an upset? In basketball, to possess the ball is to determine the course of the game. Any player who can create possessions <i>and</i> convert the highest point total each time is the tacit master of flow. Ask Toney Douglas this season.</p>
</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0